Are You Awake?

When we are truth telling, when we don’t lie, there is a propensity to believe what is told to us. It seems that the good news is that a major part of the populous is awakening from the delusion of “They said it so it must be true,” and demanding more verification of the constant streaming of deceptions presented as facts.

With such an awakening—the revelation that those we had trusted may not be trustworthy, is a rocking of the foundation we stand on. It rocks because suddenly a world we believed in, our intimate world (family, spouse, partner) or the world at large (societies), instantaneously represents our betrayer. That sometimes cuts so deep to the core that our reality is shattered. We often suffer from cognitive dissonance. Two opposing thoughts at the same time, seemingly in utter opposition with one another.

What we want to believe, and what we are trying to fully now accept as truth are so far removed from one another. Regaining our grounding, our ability to function is a challenge. The more intimate the betrayal, the harder it is to reclaim our strength. This dissonance can feel like our mind is being pulled apart. It can be devastating. That instability forces us into to doubt. We begin to not know, what is true, what is not. Where are we safe?

At first to others, you may seem paranoid, delusional. Yet, it is in this process of awakening, resolving the dissonance, that you are getting closer to a grounding that will give you awareness that will be the greatest catalyst to trusting your inner knowing, permanently and completely.

So how do we get on solid ground?

We get to know ourselves at a deeper level.

How can that be true? And how can it be that simple?

Because the more that you know and recognize all facets, all capacities that exist within you, the more you are awake to see those capacities in others. In essence, the more you know yourself, the more you can trust what you see in another.

Sounds a little implausible I know. That however, does not nullify its truth.

Every capacity you have that you are unwilling to accept as true, you will also be unwilling to see in another. Do you really not have the capacity to lie for example? Or do you just choose not to do it.

Of course you have the capacity.

Do you believe, for example, you have the capacity for evil?

You do have that capacity.

Every human does.

The fact that you have a capacity does not mean you will use it. Your morality, your heart, the depth of who you are, that is what drives your behavior. But denying part of you exists, blinds you to its existence in other people and situations. This allows you to be manipulated.

Manipulation occurs often when we are willing to be molded by the influences of another even when our heart says otherwise, or believe their words even when their actions are completely incongruent to their words. Manipulation occurs when we shut that inner knowing voice in favor of some external source that we choose to believe even when we know: this just does not feel right.

I personally spent far too much time in delusion, falling for deception in my intimate world. I now know that was a result of my unwillingness to accept the fullness of all my capacities. My book “Me & My Shadow” was written as a guide to help everyone Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom. To learn to know ourselves and thereby free ourselves from deception. To awaken us so that we might forever Stand Up, and Live Freely.

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Inbox Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a FREE CONSULTATION.

We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

This blog is opinion only. To learn more about our work go to www.redthornsolutions.com

If the content in this blog strikes a chord with you, consider buying Diana's story which was written to serve as a guide to freedom:

Me and My Shadow

Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom

On Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/Book-Kindle-D-Iannarone

Are You Being Held Captive?

Golden handcuffs, an expensive proposition to keep someone on board within a Corporation. In essence a manipulation or benefit, depending upon your perspective, to retain a key person for their talents and abilities that a company feels are vital to the end goal. Like all things, there are pros and cons, none larger perhaps than the cost of implementation and the cost of the life of the person controlled by it.

Of course if you love your job, this is a win-win. You love what you are doing, you are handsomely lured into staying and it most likely feels pretty good, maybe even outstanding. Where your perspective might change is if you no longer wish to stay. Now the Golden items become your albatross, because you have to weigh the cost of leaving against the financial benefit of staying.

Yet, are we really examining the right things? Do we really want to be controlled by anything outside of ourselves? What is your price?

Of course, careful and wise evaluation must be implemented. One should not walk away at the wrong time if the cost to their soul is minimal to wait. The question is not just how far in the distance is your freedom, it is how much do you believe that money should rule your life?

I am not really writing about golden handcuffs, as much as the chains that bind us to live our lives different than our desires. How many people stay in relationships because of division of assets? How many people feel their spouse or significant other holds their lifeline, and therefore they are trapped into dissatisfied lives because they cannot find their freedom?

In my book “Me & My Shadow,” I describe the concept that we live in a box. This box defines how much room we have to live freely. The smaller the box naturally, the more confined we feel. The point to consider is, who decides the size of the box?

Many decide, their employer, their spouse, or their family are the ultimate decision maker in the size of the box.

What if none of that is true? What if we each define the size of our box based on how much courage, trust and faith we have in our inner promptings and true abilities?

If you know you want to leave a job, a relationship, or any situation, and you are choosing to remain in it, then in most cases FEAR is leaving you trapped in a box of your own making. Of course one should not just throw logic to the wind and make rash decisions that will be a detriment to their future lives. But how long should we stay in situations that are harmful or unhappy?

In essence there are four walls to this box like any box. The first wall to your side, is the Murder/Suicide Wall. You might be so desperate that you wish you could kill someone or yourself (or the company to the degree possible), so that you can be free from the burden. Most, obviously not all, move quickly away from this wall as it goes against their moral compass and the consequences are severe, and permanent.

The wall at our feet is the Geographic Wall. “I will just leave. I will just walk away.” Yet, at that moment, all the financials and/or family dynamics come into play and it may seem economically or emotionally impossible to leave. This often leads people to feel they have no choice…they have to stay. Yet, that is rarely true in reality—if you could resolve the fear.

If you cling to the belief that you have no choice however, you move to the wall on the opposite side of Murder/Suicide, the Get Sick Go Crazy Wall. This is where you tend to experience a nearly constant state of frustration and anxiety. Your health starts to debilitate in part due to the incongruence in your life. You desire this, but you are settling for that. You are out of alignment with your soul desire. You are living outside of your moral or emotional compass, that tug-of-war begins to suck the life out of you, literally.

It is at that time, you either remain stuck until you continue to spiral down, perhaps until you die, or instead you make the more courageous choice. You go through the wall above your head. The Change Wall. The Change Wall requires introspection and evaluation of your belief systems. The belief systems that landed you precisely where you are. This is not always pleasant and can ignite a whole range of emotions. In fact, it can feel like you jumped into a raging river and all you want to do is swim back to the shore you were standing on, and you can; but if you do, you are also swimming back to the same life. IF you can continue to dive deep, tread water, breathe, and keep moving toward the opposing shore, you can create new beliefs that are congruent with who you are, and finally begin creating the life YOU desire. It only takes courage and perseverance to ultimately live freely on your terms. And you can do it.

Those chains that bind, are merely the illusion that you are unable to walk out the door or change the direction of where you are headed. Sure, strength maybe required to break them; what is paramount to know is—they can be broken.

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity

Inbox Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a FREE CONSULTATION.

We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

This blog is opinion only. To learn more about our work go to www.redthornsolutions.com

If the content in this blog strikes a chord with you, consider buying Diana's story which was written to serve as a guide to freedom:

Me and My Shadow

Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom

On Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/Book-Kindle-D-Iannarone

There is Power in the Pause

React or Respond?

When we react to something it often means that we allowed what has been said or done to put us in a tailspin causing us to have an instantaneous reaction, which is generally done without thinking.

In true danger, an instantaneous reaction might save us, but in the illusion of danger it is likely to simply set us up for more stones to be cast, moving us closer toward danger, not away from it.

When we are reacting to someone’s words, for example, it is likely that they hit within us an unhealed wound. And although their words may be unkind, our reaction becomes engagement. We are engaging with the other person, allowing them to have at least momentary power over us. Instead, as we feel the desire to react, we should pause, and search for the unhealed part of us.

The first evaluation when we feel prompted to react, is to ask ourselves some key questions. Is this truly a crisis? Does this moment truly require I act? And is it wise to do so immediately without thinking?

Sadly, some people thrive on provocation. Knowing they can engage you and lead you to lose control and then be angry at yourself for your behavior, is an entertainment that never gets old. Yet, when we take charge of who we are in all our moments, we will only be entertaining for mature loving souls. When we choose to not be negatively triggered, we quickly become boring to those who live to incite those negative reactions.

In the pause, you can garner wisdom, and then choose how and if to respond.

The more we go within and gain understanding of our wounds and move toward healing, the more impervious we become to others inappropriate or cruel actions or words.  We are not impervious as in the hard substance that cannot be penetrated, we are impervious in that we don’t let anything pass through to us which is intended to harm. We become impervious in that we are unaffected by the inappropriate behavior of others. We become clear on when it is real danger that requires us to act, and when to be immune as stones are cast.

Our reactions define us. So we must evaluate who we choose to be. Take the pause.

As we evaluate objectively the appropriate response or consequence…we are one step closer to living freely on our terms.

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Inbox Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a FREE CONSULTATION.

We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

This blog is opinion only. To learn more about our work go to www.redthornsolutions.com

If the content in this blog strikes a chord with you, consider buying Diana's story which was written to serve as a guide to freedom:

Me and My Shadow

Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom

On Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/Book-Kindle-D-Iannarone

Vibrancy can be Restored

How is that we can be dynamic in business, exude self-confidence, speak our mind, and yet kowtow or at least tolerate some intolerable behaviors in our private world?

Without our conscious awareness, childhood wounds are guiding our actions and inactions in our life until we choose to look within ourselves and heal them. Years of doing the work I do, and my own life experiences, has solidified for me a key factor.

Our intimate relationships and our business savvy have been created by different sources.

Our self-confidence drives us in our work. Our self-confidence is a byproduct of our validation for our “doings.” Most of our confidence is driven by our relationship with our dad. Maybe we excelled to prove him wrong, or maybe we excelled because he believed in us, but one way or another, our confidence is driven largely by our father energy…not so for our intimate relationships.

Our intimate relationships are driven by our mother energy. How loved did we feel for just being? And if the answer is that we only felt loved for what we could do, how right we could make things, how well we can hold the family together and keep the boat from rocking; our intimate relationships will be a testimony to the exhaustion of trying to fix the unfixable. Our self-esteem is what drives the quality of our intimate relationships, and the lower it is, the more turmoil in our life. Our self-esteem drives our ability to embrace our worth because of who we are, not because of what we do. Self-esteem is the awareness that we matter even if we are just “being.” We are worthy, deserving, lovable, because we exist.

The impact of this is far reaching. Targets of sociopathic/narcissistic relationships actually have high self-confidence, and low self-esteem. This allows a perpetrator to leverage both our ability to “do” and our loyalty, and devotion as partners, to their advantage. They know we will keep trying harder if the relationship seems to be failing. We have stamina and endurance, and are willing to give everything—persevere to make it work. We believe then, we will be loved for who we are and will have a flourishing relationship.

Then one day, often in the distant future, we realize we sacrificed our life. Gradually over time, we had given away ourselves in the quest to feel worthy of love, perhaps without realizing that was our driving force.

What is the solution to regain ourselves, restore our energy, and feel the vibrancy of being who we are?

We must begin to remember our worth. There is a process of rebuilding self-esteem. It starts by acknowledging and honoring our own feelings. Letting others have their own emotions without feeling we have to fix them. Learning to no longer over explain and justify our actions so people will see us as we are, as opposed to how they tell us we are…and decide to say NO. Guilt free No. We matter; and if we are being manipulated and controlled, know that is our choice and we can change the quality of our life by getting in alignment with who we really are, versus who we have believed we had to be to keep things running smooth.

Jump off those eggshells, and begin to feel the wholeness of reclaiming all the lost pieces of you. Know that things can escalate as you begin to find your power again, so exercise caution, yet also be clear, you need not kowtow to anyone. You are your own authority. When you feel the fullness of that truth, you will be living life on your terms.

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Inbox Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a FREE CONSULTATION.

We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

This blog is opinion only. To learn more about our work go to www.redthornsolutions.com

If the content in this blog strikes a chord with you, consider buying Diana's story which was written to serve as a guide to freedom:

Me and My Shadow

Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom

On Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/Book-Kindle-D-Iannarone

Break Free from the Web that Binds

Never lose sight that the beautifully interlaced threads spun by the master weaver, serve only to ensnare its prey, paralyze it, and then devour it.

Consider also, that we ourselves can be our own destructive web designer. We too have our intricate patterns of behavior, tied to threads that began long ago when we were children. These patterns may make us our own saboteur, devouring our life force over time. Whether it is repeatedly creating or participating in external situations that leave us feeling trapped in a web, or our own internal self-talk that makes us stuck believing we cannot achieve all that we imagined—we must decide we can break free from our present circumstance, especially in the area of relationships.

You know you are trapped in a web when you feel immobilized, frozen, paralyzed and unable to fully live the life you imagined. You can set your life in full motion again.

Once you bring the patterns and the threads that started them to conscious awareness, you can begin to cut those ties that bind, and a new life is created.

Don’t let your ability to fly be destroyed by being tangled in a web.

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Inbox Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a FREE CONSULTATION.

We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

This blog is opinion only. To learn more about our work go to www.redthornsolutions.com

If the content in this blog strikes a chord with you, consider buying Diana's story which was written to serve as a guide to freedom:

Me and My Shadow

Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom

On Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/Book-Kindle-D-Iannarone

The Power of Self-Talk

If you were to capture as a painting every word and thought you utter within your mind, about yourself and your life, what image would this work of art depict?  

What if your self-talk is largely directing the circumstances and outcomes in your life? What if you are the powerful creator of your direct occurrences?  Are you willing to take accountability for that? Can you choose to be empowered to change your often self-deprecating voice to one of love and trust?

Is it possible your own thoughts and word are reverberating within your body creating the circumstances you are facing?

What if your body, mind and spirit are simply responding to your own internal messages? What if any self-criticism creates more evidence that what you are choosing to criticize is valid? And—what if the inverse is true?

What if your fear or rejection of abundant health, wealth and love are perpetuating the lack of those things into reality?  And what if to make those negative outcomes extinct rather than perpetual, the first and simplest move is to change your Self-Talk to speak words that represent what you wish would manifest in your life...and what if when you do so, you will accurately represent the phenomenon you truly are; and your life will become a masterpiece?

Inbox Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a FREE CONSULTATION.

We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

This blog is opinion only. To learn more about our work go to www.redthornsolutions.com

If the content in this blog strikes a chord with you, consider buying Diana's story which was written to serve as a guide to freedom:

Me and My Shadow

Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom

On Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/Book-Kindle-D-Iannarone

Find that Spark

Sometimes we get in the doldrums. We have no wind in our sails. It can easily feel like our motivation and inspiration have been siphoned from us. It is okay to rest in that space for a time. In that down time, I encourage you to journal. To get to the root of what your thoughts about life are, and begin to create the vision for the life you want, with the knowing you can get there. Release yesterday, start with today and hope and plan for what could be.

Inbox Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a FREE CONSULTATION.

We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

This blog is opinion only. To learn more about our work go to www.redthornsolutions.com

If the content in this blog strikes a chord with you, consider buying Diana's story which was written to serve as a guide to freedom:

Me and My Shadow

Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom

On Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/Book-Kindle-D-Iannarone