There is an answer. In this blog, I give you some insight as to what that is, and give you the awareness, that you can be set free from it.
This blog was prompted by a recent client meeting. It is not a new discussion as everyone will reach certain phases in their decision to Wake Up, Stand Up. Live Free. In part though, I think people may not realize that once they wake up and stand up, there may be some climbing involved before they can genuinely live free.
The fact of the matter is we often do not know what we don’t know. And there are certain vantage points that help us see a new reality that we do not even know really exist. Perhaps we fantasize about its existence, yet we have never seen it. We have never experienced it. We don’t know that there really is such a thing as calm still waters. Waters that are figuratively there waiting for us. Waters that represent our ability to go into the depth of our soul and live freely. Truly freely. Waters that make us know we are loved; we feel it.
We can live without being controlled or pulled by external circumstance. We can in fact obtain, well in fact we already have it and just don’t live it, an internal locus of control. Imagine that! Only being led by your own inner knowing and largely be unaffected by the outer circumstances. Being able to stay in the calm still waters, going forever deeper in knowing, and never plunging fully into the quicksand that has taken our breath so many times in our life.
This client meeting did not yield a new thought, nor a new discussion. It led me to do a blog because I want to reach people that thought they were breaking free and do not understand the repetitive cycle that seems to pull them back in. This client was just reaching this threshold…and it is not so easy to articulate the precise how behind it. I hope to use imagery to help you FEEL this experience and know that you are normal, and you are heading toward the path of breaking free. Or if you are not, you can now. You can make a choice now, anyone can. It just has to be important enough to you and you have to let go of what you have always known! Who doesn’t cherish the comfort of what we know?
Yet, you have to be able to KNOW when what you have known, is not for your highest greatest good. When to let go, and when to hold on. I think in some ways the best way for people see themselves and understand the emotional component of their relational situation, is to reflect the commonality everyone endures in the struggle of moving past what we know, what is familiar.
People tend to lose patience with themselves at times. And in this particular discussion the emphasis was to help the client see breaking free of long term comforts (that aren't healthy for us), is not simple. Yet, although this work is a process, it doesn’t have to be a long process. It requires evaluating what is in our unconscious thought patterns, instilled in us as a child, and begin more conscious living. When we are not conscious, we are what I call “asleep.” Going through the motions of life. Never really stepping back to see if where we are is truly where we need to be, or are we simply just caught in a familiar cycle. Familiar, yet not useful or beneficial. Maybe even sucking us dry slowly over time. We may not even notice, until we do, and by then the scenario can be completely debilitating. How did we let this happen, we ask? How could I not have noticed, we ask?
The answer is, we were asleep.
Once we begin to wake up, once we begin to see, we are groggy at first. We want to break free for good, yet it feels like a tug-of-war. A push and pull we feel we can never let go of. However, we not only can, we will. And once we do, it becomes simple to remain free...and THAT is what we are striving for.
I often ask a client who is trying to leave something that doesn’t seem to be serving them anymore, such as a partner, job, alcohol, drugs, anything that feels really good at times, and at others really awful; if you wrote a letter when this situation seemed to have begun, which may have been many years ago, even decades, addressing your feelings and experiences of this situation, would your feelings seem remarkably different today about that same situation than they were all those years or months ago? Have your hopes of change always been there, but time and time again the outcome feels like the same old burden? The same old empty promises, either from others or from yourself that you keep hoping will finally be fulfilled?
Hope, can actually be a weapon of destruction in these instances, as we keep clinging to that, versus facing the real reality. THIS situation, this, that we keep turning to, relying on, believing in, will not help us live free. We have to let go of this to be catapulted into freedom. Yet how do we let go, when we feel it is our life line? What we know…our friend and comfort. Our solace.
Is this something that seems to consume your mind in negative ways? So much so you want to break free, you have wanted to break free, yet what you fear you are losing, or might lose, is just too damn hard to let go of? You don’t want to release the hope that it will become better, or change, or become manageable, or even pleasurable? Is it true, that you feel so invested in this part of your life, that it is so ingrained, you do not know if you can face a life without it?
Are you wondering, who am I, if I am not THIS? Who am I if this is not part of my life? How can I detach from this that I have always known? What else is there that will grant me that comfort? Is it possible to have the comfort, and not the pain?
Of course pain exists in life, yet if there is one source that continually brings you both, it is time to step back and really understand that it just may be time to let go, and trust there is something that is higher and better for you. That you can better serve yourself, yet you have to step beyond your comfort zone…you have to WAKE UP, and really see the truth. Know the truth. So that you can break free.
Most people realize that in spite of all the thoughts, all the hope, all the efforts and fighting…very little, or nothing has changed. So why do we hang on? Because it is scary and uncomfortable to let go. The pattern of what we know, is more comfortable than stepping into the unknown.
Why do we keep the unfulfilling patterns? What could we be creating with our thoughts if we could let go of these thoughts and experiences that are all consuming?
What are we really all looking for? What do we all desire? What is the hope we have really for?
Love.
Yet to experience love, we need connection. It starts there. But how do we obtain that connection? We have to begin choosing the closest person to us, turning to that person. Relying on that person. Trusting that person. We have to be willing to abolish that truth we hold that this person alone isn’t best for us.
We have to choose something we really hadn’t considered or allowed ourselves to believe.
We have to choose ourselves as the answer to everything we are seeking. Yes. Look inward. Choose us as the priority of our life. At this moment, you may hear those words and say Diana, I know that, I have tried that. Yes. However, if you follow the message here, you may get a deeper understanding on why it so often fails and a perspective that may lunge you to heights unknown. Ones that will serve you.
Yes, you may know that the place where answers reside is within us. Sure, we can reach out for help and support, yet if we do not recognize ourselves as the key player in our life, nothing will change.
Imagine, if you rose to the top of your priority list? And chose to deeply pay attention to what you lean on and why. What are these outer things doing for you…or perhaps more importantly, against you?
We have to destroy the belief that we are incomplete without someone or something else to make us feel loved. Most of us believe that we will be fulfilled when we connect to others, who will make us feel something we long to feel. Someone who will make us feel loved. Something that will make us feel loved. Yet we are asking more of them or that thing than we are willing to give to ourselves! The alcohol, the food, the person, takes on the role of what we need, what will make us feel better, what will offer us comfort, yet, when there is an abusive component, the opposite will ALWAYS be true.
That burden of responsibility is no ones to carry but our own. We have to be willing to reach in and connect to ourselves. To learn what has kept that feeling of being loved so elusive most of our lives.
It is because we need healing that when we seek love from outside ourselves, we end up feeling even less lovable, less connection. We feel tormented by cognitive dissonance; two opposing thoughts rattle our brain and our heart.
I need this, it is not good for me. I want this, it is hurting me.
We think we can manage the relationship, make the pain go away. Take just enough, but not too much…yet until we address more deeply the relationship with ourselves, we cannot fully understand the relationship with any of those things that we are being pulled toward. Pulled toward is an understatement. It is nearly an obsession, a nearly constant thought. Even if we don’t respond to that thought, move toward that “something” or “someone,” the anguish of the opposing thoughts, of the desire pulling us toward it, and the compulsion to try and reject it, is tormenting us. This is cognitive dissonance. It can feel as if you are literally being torn apart. It is painful and can make us feel as if we cannot breathe. We want to let go, we can’t let go. This is a minute by minute push and pull…how can I let go of this I have come to need?
What could our thoughts be creating in our life if we can break free from these obsessive thoughts and experiences?
As we journey on that path toward love, we often find ourselves in relationships that seem to answer every prayer. They told us we are lovable, they told us they longed for us, and we finally feel home, only, in time to feel everything in contrast to that. Or we love what this food, drink, television show, or drug do for us, we feel comfy and at home. We feel special and comforted. Even joyful. Yet, in time, we feel diminished, disconnected, empty, and alone. We feel there is something wrong with us because we cannot seem to end this perpetual tug-of-war. These things that we have convinced ourselves are our “friend” can also be our greatest enemy. How do we come to terms with that?
Even the feeling of comfort and familiarity that our “relationships” seem to provide, seem to be diminishing. Inevitably, the aloneness is present, maybe even magnified over time. That is because those relationships are showing us the pathway to healing our life, which will lead us to the ultimate connection; the connection to ourselves. The self we have spent much of our time running from. As if we embraced and loved ourselves fully, why would we choose to love, connect, or befriend, that which hurts us, nearly as often, if not more often, as we perceive it serves us?
“They” are the mirror to see the parts of ourselves we unconsciously want to reject. Maybe we don’t want to admit we are lonely, or admit that we believe that what we have presently in our life is the best that we can possibly achieve. What small minded thoughts do we have about ourselves that keep us in this tug-of-war. Why can’t we trust a future unknown? Why do we instead stay in the muck, hoping it will change?
We have to acknowledge the existence of this “unworthy” part of us, that we want someone or something to heal. The parts we don’t think are completely lovable, or acceptable, and the irony is what we are being drawn to, something that made us feel wonderful at times, eventually increases our shame and our feeling of inadequacy. This leads us to believe that letting go is even harder. Who will accept me like this? I am struggling to even accept myself. “This” is my best friend, my companion. I need “this.” And I hate or at least dislike myself for I also know that it is chipping away day in and day out at my self-esteem. My belief in myself and the acceptance of who I am is getting harder and harder, as my actions don’t seem to align with who I say I want to be. With who I believe I am. I am moving away from what I envision, and becoming what I do want to be. I want to be free. How do I break free?
Our internal voice fights with the beliefs we want to have, vs the ones that play in our head. That tug-of-war, that push and pull, exhausts us, and in the end, so do our relationships with anyone or anything toxic or obsessive. Yet what if those relationships purpose may be only that, to show us where our wounds are, to force us to look within. Forced, because we tend to only look within, when we feel there is no other option!
We finally feel forced because we can’t breathe, we can’t breathe, and finally when a certain threshold is passed, we finally ask, why can’t I breathe? Sometimes that time does not come until we are about to pass out. When we don’t know where else to go. When we realize this partner, this food, this alcohol, this drug, it is all failing us! Why won’t it save us? Why won’t anything save me? How did what made me feel SO good make me feel so bad? I remember how good it was, I want that back. How do I get it back?
Not everyone reaches rock bottom. It depends on how much consciousness we choose to have about ourselves. How clear we are on who we want to be in this life, what we want our life to look like. What are our values, and how well are we living up to them? What effort are we willing to exude to get in alignment with ourselves. Alignment with the beliefs and values that are congruent with who we know we are intended to be, versus the voices we may hear that keep us living in opposition, or at least out of alignment with our core hope for ourselves?
The more we are paying attention to ourselves, the more we look within, the more likely we can make a turn before there is no turn to make.
No matter what, when we are ready to make a turn, it is likely because of that feeling of being breathless, as if we might pass out. When we realize no one or nothing we have relied on will save us, in fact, the harm to us seems to be increasing; we may finally turn. We have been delusional to think it can rescue us. We have been asleep to the true conditions of our life. It is then, we finally realize it is us that must rescue ourselves.
Yet, at that juncture, we are very tired, because we are loyal and devoted and longing for connection, the connection that we somehow believed would be provided by the sources we were choosing, so we kept trying, we keep trying. Why isn’t it working? Why do I feel worse about myself? What else can I do? Now that we can’t breathe, or we are having difficulty breathing (living) we pay attention to where we are…
In this space we have been in, we feel like we have been in quicksand, and the more we move, the deeper in it we go. The surface seems farther and farther away. Our breath seems unattainable. We are suffocating…seeking more and more love, grasping for anything that might help us feel the elusive feeling of love. We devote ourselves to this cause, giving more and more of ourselves to “it”, treading in place…only to watch as the surface goes further and further away. But why we ask? Why doesn’t anyone care that I am drowning? I can’t breathe?
Because until you believe you are truly worth saving yourself, no one will save you, and you cannot save yourself if you are in a space of unworthiness.
This is the ah-ha moment to the change.
What if in those moments, rather than thrashing, it is time to be still? What if all your writhing is what is making you sink? All your actions to save “the relationship,” to implore for connection, to seek that comfort you believe is attainable from that source, is precisely what is keeping you from it? In stillness; you won’t continue to sink…you will begin to rise. Stillness. Simply stop. Stop. Look at where you really are. Become the observer of your true conditions. Pause. And you will see, you are in quicksand. With all your movement, it simply felt familiar. Familiar felt good. What else have you known, except for what you have known?
As you rise, you will see that the pathway to love was always within reach. It was within you. And as you remain still, as you finally pay attention to you. As you enter stillness and feel yourself. Acknowledge what you feel. Honor what you feel. Notice what you feel. As you know your emotions, know your truth, you will begin to wonder, is there more than what I have known? Is it obtainable? Is it real?
As you let go of your external focus in exchange for an internal one, through your stillness, your eyes will surface, and you begin to consider, there just may be solid ground and it is obtainable. So you continue to remain still, to be aware, to not try and fix others or continue to make those external resources be your lifeline. You let go of trying to solve their problems or even your own at this point. Instead you begin to simply contemplate. What are these things offering me? What are my needs? What has caused me to remain in a place where what I love, is also what I hate, or at least resent or feel badly about?
In stillness, you will keep rising, rise till you can see the surface, and can reach for solid ground…and now you begin to pull yourself up rather than taking yourself down, as you had under the illusion they are, or it is, your salvation. Those things you tried to rely on are just your teacher…forcing you to look within.
Ask, what is this relationship trying to teach me? Why am I betraying myself? What am I allowing? What am I trying to control or avoid?
As we look within we realize the only real freedom comes when we change.
There is no way to change without learning more about who we are. Connecting with ourselves at a deeper level. Elevating through stillness and truth. Waking up…
As we wake up, our eyes are open, as our head rises above the quicksand, we begin to see other possibilities. We can see how our life is a reflection of the beliefs we have left unattended. They were there without our awareness, sabotaging us at every turn, time and time again. The ones that told us that we need to endure, that this is how it is, that it is our fault, that we can fix this, that we are not enough, that we are broken…and we have been searching unconsciously for that healing, only to find ourselves feeling more validated in our brokenness because the relationships and patterns we have had, seem to confirm our biggest fears, we are not worthy. We are broken. Yet, that is their purpose. To show us, so that we will be still and awaken out of the quicksand, and begin to stand up on solid ground.
And there, finally on the solid ground— We feel we have nowhere to go. There is no thrashing, no treading, we don’t know what to do in this empty space. No pressure of suffocating quicksand, no sinking feeling…now, only fear. Fear of the unknown. This is the threshold I speak of that sends people back into the quicksand, this is the threshold where our patience vanishes and we think we have worked so hard, only to end up in nothingness. Where we think, what is the point? Where is that feeling I have always known? What is this? Only emptiness? I journeyed to awaken only to feel lost? No direction, no stimulation? Even though it was painful, I felt alive. Now, I feel empty! What seems like endless space of nothing. We are devastated. We are discouraged. All this work and reflection and here I am, with nothing.
Our thought?
I need to dive back into the quicksand. I need to find what is familiar, I need to get back to what I know…and then the tug-of-war begins. It is better there in the quicksand, it is worse there in the quicksand…there is nothing here on solid ground, there is everything here on solid ground. We feel crazy, lost and more alone. This is so empty, where is that stimulation, that comfort from the quicksand pressed up against me? At least it made me feel alive!
This is what leads us back into the quicksand. The quicksand can be cured, it can be managed, we tell ourselves. I just need the right formula and I will no longer be sinking…it can be done…I have to try, and so often, we jump back in. We jump back in with our full body…we leave nothing on the surface, and as result, we are sinking to our breathless demise again. Once on the surface, we must choose to never dive fully in, for you see, there is no cure for quicksand. The only way to not sink to your death in it, to not lose your breath forever, is to not immerse ourselves back in. We must remain conscious of solid ground, and know that any time we touch the quicksand, we must be clear on what the risks are and manage ourselves accordingly. At this time, our feet must remain on the solid ground, to keep from sinking.
The natural propensity of humans is to move back to what is familiar. That is what drives us to jump back into the quicksand, and some people stay there forever, they just keep sinking never to rise again. To them, it feels there is no choice. To them, there are no other seen options. That is because they couldn’t accept comfort in their new surroundings. It was too unfamiliar. To unnerving to not have what they knew…to not have what they perceived as their comfort. They may have resisted at first, yet that constant pull drew them back, and when it drew them back, if they fully immersed, it will be harder to recover now.
There are options. It is not true that options didn’t exists. There are always options. There are always answers, yet we must be willing to change. If we are not, we remain at what I have called the Get Sick, Go Crazy Wall. Which as I have defined it in the past, is the third wall in our cycle of trying to escape “our box” that we feel confined in. The box that we are unaware we have been living in. At this wall, we just keep the same old patterns, over and over. It truly makes us sick. In this environment, we begin to have illness appear, and it is in this space that so often people reach out for help. Yet, they have to be willing to CHANGE. Many times people want that change, yet they want that change purely by their outer circumstances changing. Yet, the change must take place on the inside, internally, in order for those external situations to actually and permanently change. After all, the repeated occurrence is to wake you up. To cause you to look within. To awaken you to your own beliefs and behaviors that have drawn these repeated circumstances to you! Don’t demand anything more from the outer world…always remember to look within.
At times, at first, we may believe that the only answer to our issues is to kill ourselves or the person or circumstance that is doing this to us, the Murder/Suicide Wall. Then when we realize this is a dangerous, painful, and permanent action, this action is normally moved quickly passed when the thought first flitters through our mind. And then we consider another option…we move to the Geographic Wall at our feet, the one that tells us, we just need to move away from this situation or thing, which seems so logical and possible. Yet somehow, we can’t or if we do, we find a replication of the pattern and the experience in some other form, leaving us in the same old familiar pain. That is because wherever we go, there we are.
Unchanged, we can’t escape our box, our repeating patterns of our lives. Unchanged we remain in confinement. Stuck in our narrow focus that this is all there is, all we deserve, we were wrong to think there was more. When we feel still yet trapped inside the box, in spite of all our efforts, and energies to free ourselves, we arrive at that Get Sick, Go Crazy Wall. Please know, this entire box is in the quicksand, it is sinking with us, and it rises with us as well. The weight of the quicksand, keeps us within it. And all we have to do is look up, and be still. We have to believe there is another option! We have to look at that top wall, the one that is the pathway to the surface, the one above our head, the only remaining wall. The one that says we need to change. The Change Wall is the answer. And if we refuse to look we will leap back to the Murder/Suicide Wall, and ultimately we may delude ourselves into this being the only answer. Our Get Sick, Go Crazy Wall experience can be our final experience, either because our illness will end our pain, or because it will lead us back to wall one Murder/Suicide. All of this is true only if we are unwilling to change.
However, if we acknowledge the existence of the Change Wall and entered the stillness and introspection it is calling for if we chose to connect fully with ourselves, our truth, endless options would appear before us, because the expanse would be beyond the box we have chosen to reside in. We must realize we must go from the known, the familiar, to the unknown and trust it. And once we do, we must guard our internal knowing, as the world will be surprised by our change.
All these years we taught the world how to treat us, by our patterns and responses. By our actions and inactions. And now, we have changed, and many in the world that we have known, liked where we were. We could be manipulated, and abused and continue to be forgiving and open to more. We also were willing to harm ourselves as well. We trusted without boundaries, and wanted to believe that those that loved us wouldn’t harm us. That those things that gave us comfort would never betray us. But they did. And they will, unless we keep ourselves aware of our worth.
Once we change, it is possible to be drawn into change-back behavior. Once we see the surface and stand on it, we can still be susceptible. If you are committed to growth however, every time you jump back into the quicksand that holds your box, you will remember, and begin to go back into the stillness and rise again to solid ground. In time, you will become more and more comfortable on the solid ground. You will learn never to immerse yourself in the quicksand. You will only allow a toe or finger to touch it. You will know that the quicksand can never consume you or take you down unless you allow it. Actually, you will know that that has always been true!
There will be emotions you will need to come to terms with in this space of solid ground. Facing the truth that you ignored for so long. Facing what you allowed. Facing what others chose to do. You cannot skip over facing these truths, you cannot just tell yourself they have sunk in the quicksand and they are gone forever, because those patterns are within you. The only way around is through. You must take pause now that you are on solid ground and express in your journal, in your quiet place, all the emotions you feel. And this is a private matter, because it was always between you and you.
This is all part of the work that we can do together. All of it.
You need to finally realize all of your life has been based on those things that drove you to adapt who you are. To become what you believed you had to become to get that long sought after thing…the thing that has remained elusive, the one thing that is all you ever wanted.
Love.
Now you know, it will come to you as you connect with yourself. And as you release all those past emotions you will become stronger, and stronger, clearer and clearer. That clutter on the inside will be released, making your outside also free from clutter. Your outer world is congruent with your inner thoughts about it. Change your inner world, and your outer world changes.
Every time.
From there you will begin to notice a spiral before you. A spiral that looks like a mountain, giving you the opportunity to rise up that spiral before you that can take you to your elevated self, your higher self, the heights you never knew existed.
Think of this as a spiral up to energies beyond any muck, where quicksand has no place…where rather than thrashing and writhing it feels light and hopeful. Yes, at times you will look back down. You will see the ground below you and the quicksand that is calling you back. Again, you must choose to keep trusting your knowing that there is more. There is better. And there are sights you can’t know exist until you elevate to see them. Yes, you will struggle. There are times you have to sit and rest. There are times that you just want to run back down, re-enter the muck of the quicksand, the box of confinement you have known...and sometimes you will slip down, and sometimes you will fall down. Yet now you know. Now you know it is in the stillness, it is the consciousness of your thoughts being toward your deservingness, it is your belief in your worthiness that will lead you to something more. And you will notice, that even when you fall, your resilience is there. You will look up quicker. You will resume stillness quicker, you will move back toward and up the spiral. Don’t let that fall, don’t let that slide back convince you that you have not moved forward, convince you, you have not changed, as if you do, you may allow yourself to remain near the ground, never seeing what awaits. Or worse, you may fall back into the quicksand.
This is the part, where you real courage comes in. This is the part I was emphasizing with my client that inspired this blog.
Much like writing the letter to look across what hadn’t changed in all those years you wanted change, take a breath now, and remember and capture how much you have changed. How you are rising so much quicker. How you are clearer on your worth, and clearer about what you deserve and soon, you will be so far away from where you have been…you will begin to become focused on where you are headed, rather than what is beneath you.
Now, you are chartering unknown territory. You don’t know what to expect, yet you will begin to trust your knowing that it is where you were meant to be. It is different than where you have been, and you become excited about this territory you have not yet traversed…you are beginning to trust yourself, and release the fear.
And in time, when you get to the perfect vantage point, you will see a sunlit, beautiful, calm body of water. A body of water that is only visible to those that have journeyed through their doubts and fears. Those that were willing to look up. Those that were willing to change. Those that were willing to let go of the beliefs instilled in them that kept them in suffering. Those willing to look within and eliminate the things that weigh them down and keep them from the love and connection they deep down always knew existed. This water will look so inviting. You may have a moment of fear, a flash of trepidation, yet, there is something you obtained on this journey. Something once it is fully received, cannot be lost. Wisdom. And your wisdom will advise you. It is safe to dive in.
You will lunge forth, you will go head first, you will know it is here that life begins. You will now operate in the world with trust and not fear. You will trust your ability to navigate these waters. It is in the calm still waters you will get a deeper connection with your higher self...those waters are the depth of your soul. A place you have longed to go, but couldn't find. And once you find it, you will know when to swim (do) and when to simply experience stillness (be).
You will feel love. You will feel connection. All those things you were seeking outside yourself will be yours, felt in these calm waters.
You will know this is right and good. You will discover you can swim. You will discover swimming is easy for you, natural. And when you are tired, you will know you can just float. You will know there is no need for thrashing. There is no way to sink, unless you choose to exhale, once again every ounce of air in your lungs in your sacrifice to others. You must remember to inhale. You know to honor your breath. To continue to breathe. You will know your life and the quality of it, is in your hands, and no one outside of yourself can control it, unless you allow it. You will have an internal locus of control. Outside forces are just for your observation. Then you can look within and know. You will know and trust and be in the flow. The flow that is simple and congruent. You will discover that you can intuit what is danger, and what is good. You can navigate these waters...and even if you briefly link with something dangerous, you will quickly know, and trust yourself to navigate away...you will monitor your breath, and know no one or nothing can have that. You will surround yourself with those that would never take your breath…would never harm.
You will know Love.
You will know connection.
And you will know, that no matter what you might face in those waters, you can swim. You know what to do because you have Wisdom. That wisdom taught you, there is always a way out.
There is only one thing required. One thing you must always be willing to do. CHANGE.
Keep life moving forward because looking backward is only for time travelers-Rachel Washington
Blog Author and image by: Diana Iannarone
Copyright © 2019 Diana Iannarone
Life Reinvention Coach
Redthorn Solutions LLC
Diana@redthornsolutions.com
631.886.1094 Land Line
Email to arrange a free consultation via phone or Skype. Isn’t it time to break free?
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