If You Don't, No One Will

Our personal destruction comes from lack of self-esteem, which is far more devastating that lack of self-confidence.

Self-esteem is a about who we believe we are, our being.  It determines are worth in Love.

Self-confidence is about what we do. It is about our capability, our worth in work.

The most dangerous combination is High Self-Confidence, and Low-Esteem, because we will sell our soul for love, and our ability to DO, will be leveraged by those that wish to use us.

Time to Make a Change

I occasionally like to share reviews of my 1:1 coaching to remind you what kinds of things I can help with and to show you can be anywhere in the world and get the help you need.

 

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Diana has helped me more than anyone else had, and probably will.

I was severely over-weight; my parents were going through a divorce and I was in an abusive relationship.

Diana was the only person I could talk to and with her help I ended my relationship, dealt with my parents’ divorce and lost half my weight, 154 pounds. Yes, that is what I actually lost.

My work with Diana helped me believe in myself again. I am now in a healthy relationship and completing computer science school, accomplishments I thought were impossible. I am now only 23.

She never judged, but always gave her honest opinion and that was exactly what I needed!

I can’t stress this enough, I’ve been to countless therapists and coaches, she’s the best one.

Roei-from Israel 2017

Ready to Reprogram Your Beliefs?

This young person has done a superb job. Her words will likely resonate as the voice many of you have in your head. This voice started very early on. Many, carry these same voice throughout their life. If you would like to shift those voices to ones that serve you and help you celebrate the individual you are inbox or better yet email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free 1 hour consultation via phone or Skype.

https://www.facebook.com/12news/videos/10155509505869015/

Need a Guide to Freedom from Sociopaths & Such?

Below you will find a book review that hit Amazon this week. I hope it encourages you to check out my book.

It has always been my goal to guide people to live freely on their terms. I chose to write my story to provide to others information acquired through my wrong turns in intimate relationships. My hope is that maybe through my sharing, someone can take less wrong turns, or escape from the wrong ones they made. My book was written as a guide to help individuals Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom. You can find my book on Amazon, or just go to the link below. book tab on this blog.

Me & My Shadow

I also have You Tube videos under my  name, designed to help people understand why they find themselves in difficult relationships and how to break free. 

You can have the loving life you deserve.

Brilliant! 5 stars!

ByKate Flanaganon April 27, 2017

Format: Paperback|Verified Purchase

Buy it, read it, underline it, highlight it, write in the margins, tab it!
This book can not only help those that have been in abusive relationships but anyone that is seeking, peace and fulfillment in all areas of their life. Diana describes how her life was award winning on the outside and crumbling on the inside, behind closed doors and how she moved through this trauma to love and wholeness.

The only person that I want to learn from is the one that has been in darkness and has come through to the light - that is Diana Iannarone! In the book and in her coaching sessions, she has a no nonsense, tough love approach, juxtaposed with a warm a heart and a vault of information about the human condition, helping you to move from fear to freedom.

This work changed my life so much, that at 61, I got my Life Coaching license and Diana has been instrumental in helping me build my business. She has a long history in the corporate world, then moved to the private coaching arena and has funneled years of invaluable knowledge into this awesome book.

It illuminated for me that my belief systems, born in childhood, were still running my life today. As a child I was unable to express any feelings, even at 10 when my mother died and I got the message that my feelings didn’t matter to anyone. My favorite quote in the book is:

“The feeling I have that this is wrong must in fact be what is wrong. My feelings are wrong, not the act of what is happening to me or being told to me.”
It was worth the purchase just for that quote!

This is a great way to spend $16.00 and enjoy your "Breakthrough" as you will have one if you read Me & My Shadow!

Freedom Rocks!

What Will Make You Happy?

What if it is all as simple as asking what will make me happy?

Release Your Fixation!

Are you fixated on a solution that is blinding you to new ideas?

I was recently introduced to the game “WordBrain.” I don’t typical play any computer games, but at the recommendation of my daughter I gave it a go. I actually find the game interesting and a bit challenging at times. Perhaps most interesting is my discovery that in some ways it is a blatant testimony about life.

The object of the game is to slide your finger across the board to various connecting letters that complete a word. If you get the correct word, all those letters drop into place in the word box beneath the board, sliding the remaining letters into a new place. The new position might allow for new words to potentially come into view. And to further complicate the process, there can be duplicate letters which permit you to get the right word, but choose the wrong letters…making all the next words impossible to create. You have to start again. Recreate the word in some other contiguous form of the letters.

How could this possibly be a reflection of life? Simple. The inability to release the idea of the path we thought was right, in favor of actually finding the one that is right. How long will the real pathway be obscured by what we thought was the answer? How long will we retry our word, with the conviction there must be something wrong! We were certain we were right, why isn’t it working?

This is especially true when you proudly find a multifaceted word, especially one with 7, 8 or 9 letters that you had to zigzag all over the board to make happen! As you are swiping your finger you feel this sort of jubilant excitement, only to dumbfoundedly be stopped in your tracks as the letters do not budge. No word dropped into place. You are wrong.

Yet, we are still affixed to the word we were sure was the source we needed! Sometimes we catch ourselves trying it again and again, as if the board is suddenly going to acquiesce to our persistence. Yet, time and time again, it won’t. It never will.

It is instead necessary for us to garner a new perspective, release our fixation to the word it might have been, and find the other word, the correct word, that is at least as obviously still in front of us.

There are many pathways to our goals, and we must redirect ourselves from the ones that have not brought us where we want to go, and have faith and a willingness to be open to still find the path to arrival. Don’t be fixated on what you thought would bring you there, and instead be open to what might be right in front of you that you have not yet chosen to see. Like in the game, it is not that complicated. We just need to be open, devoted, and trusting that there is simply a place we haven’t examined yet.

Sometimes we have to make a few moves before we can see what is truly available to us, and we may have to release the truth we were believing in previously to arrive at our goal.

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom

“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.

We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

Take the Chance

There is no way to know what life can offer without taking chances!

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. And order our Guide to Freedom:

“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.

We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

The Pain of a Cold Heart

Have you been in relationship with someone with a cold heart? It is hard to both endure and recover from, because it's incomprehensible that someone could have a cold heart.

However once you awaken to this reality -that cold hearts exist in such situations like sociopathy or narcissism…you are freer and safer in the world.

Part of the message of my book "Me & My Shadow-Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom" on Amazon (see tab on this blog) is helping us learn about our shadow side. Something we all have. And embracing it fully enables us to see it in others.

Embracing your shadow ignites within you the warrior spirit to finally keep yourself safe from harm.

The heart in this image however, is beautiful. And showed up on a waterfall in my pond when I absolutely needed the reminder about love is still present everywhere.

Type my name in YouTube or go to my website www.redthornsolutions.com to learn more.

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom

“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.

We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

Ready to Go All In?

Getting your feet wet may not be enough. To really have the full experience of life sometimes you just have to get engulfed in it!! 

Meet Gandalf. This horse was so ambitious. He loved to swim and to jump. This was his idea… in the murky water of the newly installed lagoon. 

Fellow dare devil Lucky in the background. 

Courage is what is needed to have new experiences. Do you need help igniting yours? 

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom

“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.

We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

Lap it Up!

Make this your year. Lap it up, take it all in.

This was Iggy, He was the most polite, high strung, obsessive compulsive, ball fetching, bubble chasing, swimming boy. I loved every aspect of him. He knew how to lap it up in every single moment. We can learn a lot from a dog!

Be the Observer

Being the observer of your circumstances rather than the participant sometimes makes it possible for you to awaken to a greater truth.  Wake up, Stand up, Live free.

Meet Bubby-he was always the observer and to himself. My Regal boy. I would've loved to have been inside his head. He was certainly inside my heart.

Connection Matters

Now that's connection!

It is a new month. My hope is to connect more with each of you by creating an environment that inspires some positive discussion or thoughts. We can all use a little more connection!

As you have experienced, when people like my page or my blog, I don't reach out to them, because it is important to me that people feel free! It is important that Life be on YOUR terms, so I will not reach out to you unless you send me a request to, but I still hope that through this page, I will connect with you at some level. I hope too, that as we move forward some of what I post here, resonates and inspires other positive thoughts. Your voice and you matter!

You may have noticed also, I am often using my personal photos now, I want to have more of me out there, so you know more of WHO I am. Thank you for your likes, shares, and comments, and even for your silent participation on my page. Meet Iggy, Bubby and Lucky. These were my babies when I lived on my horse ranch. It was so fun for all of us! 

Let's make this a great year of connection!

Ready to Step Outside?

Perhaps to get to the next level of joy you have to break through some patterned boundaries. Great things happen when you leave your comfort zone.

Ready to Go After It?

Sometimes you have to go after something that feels a little too big to carry. That's how you accomplish things you didn't know were possible.

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom

“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.

We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

Be Brave

This is Codee and Lucky. I'm sure Lucky was intimidated when she first encountered this massive creature. But she had the courage to proactively go after what she wanted…resulting in a long-term bond & connection. If you need a little help strengthening your courage email diana@redthornsolutions.com

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom

“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.

We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

How Safe Do You Feel?

I used to love when Jose and Codee would lay down at the same time next to each other. It said to me that they felt safe and comfortable.

Do you feel safe and comfortable in the present conditions around you?

If not, email me at Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial phone or Skype consultation. It could change your life. Additionally, consider typing my name in YouTube Diana Iannarone to get a glance at some ideas and tips that could help you

Did You Try the Door?

I have always loved these doors that were on my previous property. Let it be noted they lock from the outside. You can always get in. Which door are you too afraid to try to open?

How Connected Do You Feel?

Loss of connection is an epidemic in this technological and virtual world. Stay connected to what matters.

Gangs all here! This was taken several years ago on my ranch- left to right Iggy, Lucky, Bubby (over Lucky), Bear & Brutis the labradane in the back.

Create the Life YOU Want

You can create the life you want. Ignite your courage and live life on your terms. For a time I lived on my horse ranch "La Dolce Vita" in Oklahoma. That place gave me such gifts. The nature, horses, dogs, pond and wildlife will always be cherished. I left there to come back to NY when my daughter and son-in-law announced they were having a child!  Now I get to share in all of the gifts that come with an amazing beautiful grandson! Life can be lived on your terms! 

Shake it Off

                           

You deserve a quality of life that isn't weighted down. Go for it. Don't ignore what you are feeling, work through it, then you can shake it off. 

Ready to Break Free?

Sometimes it's hard to exit a relationship, whether it's a long term intimate relationship, a job you have endured for longer than you cared to, or family dynamics you are tired of tolerating, a little guidance to ignite your courage can help. You decide the quality of your life. You may have to let go. Contact me for a free initial phone consultation or Skype.

Are You Isolating?

I have come to decide that isolating is indeed an epidemic. I know, I know, most of us think we can do everything on our own. We don’t really need anyone. That is the lie we tell ourselves so we can keep moving forward and getting things done. But we lose something when we do that, we lose ourselves.

Most of us don’t want to admit to needing help, or that we are overwhelmed, or that we are having trouble dealing with life. So rather than admit our truth, we stay busy, very busy…and we keep our emotions inside. We don’t speak of our struggle or our truth, and we isolate. In our isolation, sometimes we melt down, yet we never share that truth with others. We fear what they might think. We want to maintain our strong persona.

Isolating is a way of keeping to ourselves. We can isolate even in a crowd. Sure, we are smiling and sharing and laughing, yet if people could see behind that, what would they see?

Unless we show up REAL we are isolating, because the fullness of us is not really present in the room. Of course I don’t mean get in a crowded group, break down and shout you are in pain…although there may be times it could be appropriate, depending upon the group. The key point is— What would life be like if you lived transparently?

And how safe do you feel in the company you keep to do so?

Living transparently doesn’t mean you wear your emotions on your sleeve, it means you are willing to divulge your truths. Where you have been, where you are, what you have endured, and what matters to you. Or more accurately stated, you are willing to be vulnerable.

It is in being vulnerable that intimacy becomes real. If you don’t have a safe place for that, you might want to change the players or circumstances in your life.

Reach out. Connect with people. Go deep. In doing so it is revealed to you the character of the people around you. It takes courage to live a transparent life, and it is the most liberating experience of all. You get to just show up as you, not vested in the views that others might have. Break free from your inner boundaries, and live life on your terms.

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom

“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.

We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

ls.

Paint Vibrancy into Your Life

It is so easy to get tied into the everyday grind. To lose our consciousness regarding the power we have in the creation of our life. So much of what we do and think becomes habitual. Moving through life with mundane routines and not really stepping back to assess how and if these behaviors and thoughts are impacting the vibrancy of our life.

What if this year, you truly decide this is your year for abundance of color in love and life? What if you decided to spend more time in nature, more time being connected to others, more time being fully and completely in the present moment and less time in front of the computer, television, phone or IPAD? What if you became a priority in your life? What if you spent more time trusting, and less time fearing?

A mere shift in consciousness can change every spectrum of your life by deciding in each moment to ask, is this truly the way I want to spend this moment?

We all know life is short. We all know we don’t know how long we have. The question is, does that inspire us to cherish every moment, every relationship, every connection with ourselves and others?

One pivotal moment in my life was when I listened to Steve Job’s 2005 Stanford University Commencement Speech. For some reason in 2011, that speech appeared on a page before me instantaneously, as I made a desperate plea to the Universe for guidance. I had said out loud into my own eyes in the mirror that I didn’t want to live a life that someone else created for me anymore. I didn't want to feel trapped.

My eyes fell immediately upon these words from the speech that moved me…

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

In that moment I asked myself, where am I not following my intuition?

I describe that moment in detail in my book Me & My Shadow, here is an excerpt:

I was awed that the profound Universe showed me these words, words largely of my own choosing; words I had never seen or heard before, but it was obvious I would hear them and know them, and know all was being orchestrated for my highest, greatest good. I read the words, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, and I asked myself, where am I not listening to myself? I knew instantly.

My awareness elevated once again. I had released my desire to control in so many areas of my life, but I was becoming aware of my attachment to the idea that money still, in some measure, defined who I was. I had loosened my grip on the tangible, but I had not yet completely released it. I now knew as long as that belief lingered, I would not be fully free. To live free, I had to accept that the biggest roadblock in my own path to freedom came in the form of releasing my remaining attachment to the physical ego. The cord that kept me tied to the physical, unable to fully experience the Divine.

The last piece of the physical world that I clung to, the last piece I feared releasing was so ingrained that it had lingered on. I had a fear, that somehow if my financials were diminished, I was diminished. The image of who I was would be gone. In that moment, I released the last thing that kept me in chains; I chose Love over Fear, I chose Allow over Control and I was about to embark in a moment by moment endless experience of total freedom. I could Trust; just Know.

~~~~~~~

I knew then, it was time to trust myself, drop the price of my home for sale, and know something wonderful was going to happen. Weeks later, my daughter called me and I found out I was going to be a grandma, and made the life changing decision to move back to NY and not miss a moment of that experience. Truly one of the greatest joys of my life, inspired by a moment in time and a response from a plea. Are you looking and listening for the messages of wisdom trying to reach you?

Today as I wrote this post, Steve’s words from that speech echoed again, this time, from his words on death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

So as I said, a mere shift in consciousness can change every spectrum of your life. Perhaps it is best to not just decide, but to commit that in each moment you will ask yourself, is this truly the way I want to spend this moment? And when the answer is no, choose to have the courage to do something different.

Are you ready to paint the spectrum of your life vibrantly?

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom

“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.

We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

Love Alignment, Makes Manipulation End

What does it mean to be in alignment with love?

I'm willing to wager that there are people reading these words now who are very much filled with love. They have empathy, they care deeply for others, and they live their life to make a profound difference in the world.

These people are devoted, loyal, and can see the needs and the pain of others. They are sometimes termed as empaths; those that sense the feelings and suffering of others. These characteristics are a gift, however left unchecked, they can also be a curse. Devotion and love to those that value it and us is a beautiful gift, yet we need to be aware of people that might wish to simply capitalize on our devotion. Those that might fraudulently present themselves so that we might work harder and be more devoted—to save them.

How is it we can tell the difference between the genuine need of others, and those that are sociopathic/narcissistic and are merely using what we avail to them?

Examine a few things.

First, look internally. Stop and remember your own existence.

Are you hurting? And if so, why are you hurting? Why are you suffering? Often it is because in the formula of love we have neglected to examine ourselves and how we are being treated. How well are you taking care of yourself? How well are you loving yourself?

We do not need to endure pain to be a good spouse, parent, friend or even employee. We cannot leave ourselves out of the formula of love.

Does your devotion to love include yourself fully? Are you living within your own value system? Are you violating yourself or allowing others to, in any way? Are you speaking what you deserve, but tolerating something different?

Second, in all instances, also look externally. Examine the actions and words of those around you. Do they line up? If not look for those incongruences. Those situations where one thing is said, and another thing is done. Track these incongruences.

I find most people have an external locus of control. I define this as being driven by circumstances and needs outside of themselves. Which again, on the surface can be beautiful. However, true happiness, contentment, and peace, comes when we can turn toward an internal locus of control. Being driven by our truth, examining what is for THE highest good and honoring that. It is critical we listen to our own inner knowing, our own inner promptings. Whether you believe that is your intuition, God, or simply some force within you, is not as relevant as choosing to honor it. For in honoring it, you honor not only yourself, you also honor THE highest good, and remove yourself from the risk of being defeated, by enduring pain and suffering at the hands of a manipulator. We get to choose the quality of our life.

If you are easily driven by guilt, if guilt makes you act, then you are susceptible to being manipulated. Guilt and shame should only serve if you have actually done something wrong, something that YOU measure as wrong. Yet, a skilled manipulator will use guilt and shame as a tool to control you.

Don’t ever try to convince anyone of who you are. And if you find that you are frequently put in a position of feeling the need to defend yourself, even though by your own measure you have not done anything wrong, then be aware, you may be under the control of someone else. A choice you are making, that can be changed.

We get to say no. We get to place boundaries as necessary. And we get to live life fully on our terms. It is a courageous act to align with love, and include yourself in the formula. That courage can lift you from the deepest despair and allow you to feel free flowing joy and the knowing you are acting from a place of love for the highest good.

True love and connection is why we are here. Anything in contrast is not something we need to endure. It may be hard to let go, yet the quality of your life may depend on it. You can have the life you desire. Get aligned with love and you can block anything that might otherwise defeat you.

Wake Up to how you're operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom

“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.

We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals