What do a narcissist and a butterfly have in common? That is
what I found myself asking when last night I had this odd thought...that
narcissists are like butterflies. They often look so alluring, vibrant and
attractive. They seem to effortlessly fly through the maze and obstacles of
the world and choose precisely where
they wish to land. Then, they simply flutter about, traveling from flower to flower
sucking the last drop of precious nectar from each. As butterflies alight upon
flowers, it is through their feet that they taste the succulence. Imagine—butterflies
enjoy the flavor of a flower, by walking on them.
Yet, who amongst us isn't drawn to the captivating essence
of a butterfly?
Once you have experienced the powerful pull of a narcissist,
you unequivocally know the emptiness that remains after all your nectar and
sweetness has been drawn from your core and can for quite some time feel the
damage from having your soul repeatedly trodden upon.
Yet, to compare a
butterfly to a narcissist feels a bit like sacrilege. Butterflies are so
beautiful and cherished. So this morning I sought answers as to why I would
have received such a prompting to
compare the two and be compelled to write.
And then it occurred to me.
Narcissists are the illusion
of the butterfly.
They delude us into seeing an image of beauty, and image of
lightness, aloof and untouchable...as we admire and wish to be closer to them,
to catch them, to have them set down within our space and this is by design. They
present this sort of dance, like a spiritual flittering, yet what makes the true
wonder and majesty of the butterfly is what it had to endure to arrive. The
isolation, the growth, the devotion to its journey.
We all know that the depth of soul does not exists in the
hollow being of a narcissist, and the reason is because they know nothing of
transformation. They know nothing about true devotion to growth in complete
isolation. They know nothing of sitting in the dark and soul searching to
become all that they can be. Some butterflies spend up to two years in
chrysalis...and for them to arrive at that stage, the stage where they are in
hibernation, they first, as a caterpillar, had to devotedly eat and eat to
provide the foundation for that chrysalis to be formed. Hunting and searching
for sustenance is not unlike a narc, eating what it can find for its own survival.
The caterpillar however, was doing so to lay a foundation where growth and
transformation were possible, not simply to devour something for solely its own
gratification and to offer nothing to the world in return. A caterpillar is
working to prepare for the next stage of development.
Each moment in this full process of transformation, from egg,
to caterpillar, to chrysalis, to taking flight, they can fall prey to any number
of predators. Its hope is to reach its majestic wonder and when it does, quite
by accident, unaware that while enjoying the gifts of the flower it accidentally
picks up the pollen with its wings, effortlessly passing the pollen on...for
growth and beauty to be reproduced. The
butterfly, by their nature and process of development, grants us the awareness
of what it took to get there, and then they flutter in the world giving
joy...representing for all of us transformation and change.
So remember, if you have had the misfortune of being touched
by a narc, the gift is the opportunity for YOUR transformation; to be so much
freer, to remember that you were always able
to fly where you chose. You may have to scavenge for your survival...you may
have to bury yourself in a cocoon of isolation...unable to bear the pressures
and noise of the world because you have PTSD, anxiety, and a broken heart. But,
when you decide to, your will emerge from that place, knowing your beauty and
wonder and now, you will know that you are free to go wherever you choose, and
live knowing you are the creator of your life, by what you allow and what you
release. Having gone through this tumultuous pain, in the lonely and desperate
isolation you can choose to reunite with your core...rediscover the
wonder of your soul...and most importantly, know how to recognize that depth in
another. When you take that time, when you embrace yourself in that dark and
lonely space, know that when you arise again, you will never be drawn in by the illusion of wonder, you
will observe and discover, if it is illusion or Truth.You awaken from the darkness knowing you no
longer need to tolerate the intolerable. You have endured, so that you may
flourish.
According to Ted Andrews in his book "Animal Speak,"
"Butterflies bring color and joy with them. When
butterflies come into your life look at how much or how little joy is within
your life. Lighten up. Look for change. Don't forget that all change is
good. Butterfly medicine reminds us to make
changes when the opportunities present themselves. Transformation is inevitable, but the butterfly
will help teach you that growth and
change does not have to be traumatic. It will teach you that it can occur as gently,
as sweetly, and as joyfully as we wish."
Embrace the wisdom and knowing that you achieved through
your transformation and spread it so others may grow...even if you do so
accidently as you choose to enjoy the sweet nectar of life.
Copyright © 2014 by Diana Iannarone
If this strikes a chord with you, consider buying my book:
Me and My Shadow
Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom.
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